The sun is comming back. This is not a good thingi for a fini. I often feel depressed when summer comes. I think iti biological. All tins is depressed when its summer. We like winter. In Åland everyone is depressed all year round I Think this is exragation. I feel good in the automn and winter as fins always do.

I have begin with pariting up my texts for increased readibilty. Fuckk. blooli heiill. I send my theatre which you can read free of cargrhe here to swedish institue for tharte. They had a compeationon for thatatre. You can win 20000.

POnje reason I feel drepssered when summer coames is that I can’t job without women getting at me. You can feel that this is a small problem but whenever I get into my pants and start jogging I have this lady breathing in my neck. This was nice when I was feifteen but now I am 37. It hinki,.

I have deciede toi stay in Uppsala for a while. Finlandi have no cahrms over me anymoreö. I think fins are depressing. Everybody lovess sumemr exeptps fins. Fuck! If fons whould ahve taken part in Summer of love 1968 tthay would proboly refused beacuse they feel so down. They loves in winter passiontaly but I never want to do it with fins. I think blonds are’t that sexy.

few blanods are attractred to me. Most other womena re. I am not lying even if I sound like that. The more coulurs on a personon the more thay seem to want to do it with me. Swedes with brown hair are much more likely to want to fuck me thatn a fair swede. Strange.

And I will not peak about when I lived in Itlay. Fuuckkk bloodiyy heeiillll!

I want to discuss Jan in this blogpsot. Jan is a neautral caracter. He is the Lyckly Guy who has got it all. Than I am in i too. That will pose a porblem beacuse people tand to connect people in artworkds with the artist. However Its not the real me. The real Jukka isnät the fun Jukka as I wirte about. The real Jukka smiles much at work, normal and gets fucked alot by ladies. I like ladies in all ages, from the agee of 18-70. My normal lady is betweeen 38 nowday but I have had them all. They all like me running. I don’t now. It seems to be a secreat fuck nyddu rinning club in Sweden. As soon as you run and looks fit you ahve this lady who strats to talk to you. Then you gets invited to her home when the husband is working. Then you should fuck her etc. I wouolud go into details. It not ok for children if any should read my blogg and I hae the ”Nudtiy spam warning  people hae on their blogg.

I have started wriging a book. I have flow nowdays and loots of words is spioiling from my tounge, I am thingong about moving to Irealnd seomeday. Living byt he sea and loving real people. Irishemen .Thet would be fantastic. The sea and the man.

I am also submitting a shirt story to Umeså short story price. Its” a huge thingi. You can win 1000000.

Itä’s lots.

If I win I will go to Shoutern Europe and rest for a while. Not running. Defintily not at all fuck a lady. And not anybody else erither. Youst be. Feel the real Jukka returning. Slowly. follo the stream where the peastn walk. Sit udner a hosetree coutning leaves.

Feel the sun come and go. The wind and the moon. The people.

 

Attributipon

English:
Landscape, Glendalough, Ireland
check usage
Date 17. August 2006 August 17th, 2006
Source Own work.
Author Stefan Flöper

 

 

Real. Not like åopele in Sweden. Who jsut want to Run. There is a swedish wodrd for horney. Löpa. It aloso mean run. And the swedes who runs löper. HahAHahhahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Not positing any peityres. Or perhaps I willc hose to do that. Of IOreland. So beautirful. The lan and the sea. The REal jukka. Comming back. Like Surreal pillow sings. I can see you. Comming ballks. So beautoil. all peciterrs are from Irland.

 

 

Reblogged from James:

• 

Alla pratar om hur viktigt det är att vara kreativ. Man kan få för sig att vi lever i ett samhälle av kreativa människor som startar dagen med att tänka nya idéer om hur man ska leva, skriva, älska.

Som alla djur är vi besatta av att skapa en säker miljö för oss själva på bekostnad av grannen. Men blir man kreativ bara för att man råkar vara priviligerad?

Läs mer… 360 fler ord

Kärnfullhet.

Over Yonder – nu i Sverige.

Dear Readers, 

I want to tell you about monkey man today. I am a monkey man of course like the song tells you. Someday, I will sit by the fire, listening to your stories and telling mine. That will be afine day. Today, you and me are separated. Alas, it will  not last forever. Sometimes, when looking out of the sea I think of you. Small thingi, like the curtains with boat motif remind me of the days in Itlay. Those weher the days, but perhhaps those will be the daysö. 

Anywho Monkey man, why am I fascinated by him. 

Tehre where of course the two midgins following me yestarday, enviromentalitsts who I am sure did not want my vorte. they wanted my body,  happens every time when I am out joggong, I have very slim pants I can tell you. 

This is not intened to be porn. 

Swedes are truely boring, so boring I might one day move from here but I like the Swedish sea. Its cold and tehre are only ugly fishes here who looks like Göran, an old freind. I once were a you man in Itlay, now I sit here in my office space composing bad rim. And my beard has grown. I nerver seems to shave, the fucking shave apparat is bad. I refuse to give you pictures to make me interesting. If you get bored by my words I do not care. Somedays I will learn hwo to make intentions byut not today. There are not time today, 

Tomorrow is anpother day, oboiusly. Nicke Cave also thogut so, he was wrongi of course.

 

I am uåset beacuse they don’t let the cows out. The goats are out in a littel yard with stones. the phesants have let the sheeep out beascuse they eat them and they get bestter tratement. 

There are ten thingi I need to do today. One is write this post. Another is stop writing stram of conisunsens. 

 

I feel blue and read today. Small thingi made me that. The small thighi as a squirill which I casted thingi at beacuse he plundered a birds house. I always feel melancolic at the end of the free day. I hear As tears go by with amrianne Faithfull. so sad. So blue and sad today. The formost thighi is I have stopped drinking. Its boring. I feel like Göran in the story down here. Or was he called göran, IO can’t remember now. I have to look acctually. Syd Barrett was fun and full of life and so must we aöll be one day. Shitt bloodyyy heiiiill!! That fwlt beetter. Thank you reader for reading this long post. I recognixe it wasnsint very fun and I would get customers  by it but I fuck the custoerms anywhoe. 

Vivla republic and la France! Equalite, IU can’t remeber the rtest in Frenac anyhow. 

Today I was stlaked by two enviromentalists when I was out walking, I know what they were after.l And it was not my vore. I have soft pants too. My ass even looks good in soft pant.s I donä’t mean to bragg or anything but Iw as quite unfit a whil. They almost looked like midges. 

JAN I need some air. This thing is really killing me.

JUKKA It’s nice with a garden in exchange for the pub.

JAN Look! They grow their own vegetables. There is Phaseolus vulgaris Leguminosae.

JAN How did you grow up, Jukka?

JUKKA It was the only thing I could eat when I was a kid in Finland, where I grew up outside Helsinki.

JUKKA In a large house. My father was in the military. He was a harsh man. My mother made all the Nanning. Of course I had a nanny or two. My mother mostly walked around in her dresses.

JAN Walking through a garden.

JUKKA My mother was dead sexy and had men when my father was in the military.

JAN I grew up in a bad suburb to Stockholm. My parents used to beat me up.

JUKKA That’s horrible! But I guess in the forties people didn’t care about it.

JAN My dad was nice in comparison to my mother. She. Well. I don’t want to talk about it.

JUKKA I guess I was spoiled.

JAN When I was eleven I met my love of my life. My lass. She was fourteen and I was green. The rooms where much colder then. I smoked cigarettes as ten.

JUKKA Did you do it with your clothes on?

JAN Yes, well I just lifted her. You know. I remember it as yesterday. It was 1953. She had blond hair and laughed a lot. She was to be married to this working class fellow but wanted to do it before the wedding.

JUKKA Was it really fun for a young woman to do it with a tiny little boy?

JAN Hey! I looked like fifteen.

JUKKA Yes, but fifteen year olds are often not what young women want. They want men.

JAN Well, she wanted to be prepared for that brute which waited for her on the wedding. I fantasised about her for years. But I guess she became a normal person. In my fantasies she became this queen. Like a fairy queen.

JUKKA I think you think about Elizabeth of England who was referred to as the fairy Queen. But she oppressed the Irish. That wasn’t the behaviour a fairy would do. All Irishmen are practically fairy’s.

JAN laughs.

JAN You would get beaten up in Ireland for that talk. I just said this woman became my idol. And then I read about her fifteen years later. And that changed everything.  I was already a budding famous artist in my own right. A mod. I had fulfilled my sexual fantasies and yet I had this image in my head of this beautiful blond who looked like Birgit Bardot.

JUKKA I never liked blondes. I go for brunettes or the minorities.

JAN Minorities? That’s just so typical of you white, heterosexual middle aged men to call everyone not white minorities. Most people are not white. And just talking about them and we is a racist thing.

JUKKA Sorry, I just remembered that you are a candidate for the communist party.

JAN They are just the left party now days.

JUKKA I hate politics.

JAN So do I. I just support the left because they dole out all the money to artists.

JUKKA That’s a selfish thing to do.

JAN People are deeply selfish. I would support whatever supported me.

JUKKA That salad looking thing is that salad?

JAN That’s Lactuca sativa. I guess the cook uses it.

JUKKA Are you very thankful for the cook because he saved you from the long man?

JAN Whatever. Anyway, I was a young good looking guy in the sixties. And then I read about her. She wasn’t with the brute worker anymore but was a famous model in London. There was an article about her in the newspaper.  She begun as a nude model and was now hanging out with the stars of the day. I stopped loving her then.

JUKKA When the small dog barks ten times with a high pitched sound what does that mean?

JAN What?

JUKKA I just heard it.

JAN Oh no!

LONG MAN Hello, I’m sorry to disturb you again.

JAN All right, got damn man. I give up, the cook is not in sight just show me the chess.

LONG MAN I don’t think chess is proper outside. I thought we could just talk.

JUKKA I dig your clothes.

LONG MAN Thank you. I bought them in northern Italy. The cape was handmade in Florence.

JAN Is it worth to negotiate?

LONG MAN People have been trying to negotiate with me since man could speak.

JAN I could get you a date with a gorgeous bartender.

LONG MAN I am sure hers and mine roads will cross at some point.

JAN Got damn! You will like her more now than in fifty years.

JUKKA Is it the bartender you’re talking about?

JAN Yes.

JUKKA You can’t give her to him. She’s mine.

LONG MAN I like her. What would you accept for her?

JAN A couple of more years?

JUKKA Wait a minute!

LONG MAN Yes, but how many?

JAN Twenty?

LONG MAN You are a wreck. Constantly smoking and drinking. I could give you five.

JUKKA Is it my girlfriend you are talking about?

JAN It’s just a girl.

LONG MAN People have offered me castles for five years.

JAN I guess it’s better than nothing.

JUKKA Wait a little Mr Long man! It’s not his girl to give away!

LONG MAN Who’s is she?

JUKKA Her own!

LONG MAN Everybody is owned by someone. Except me. I am free.

JUKKA Whatever, she isn’t his.

Some teenagers pee in the garden.

JAN shouts

JAN Why do you pee on the Raphanus sativus?

TEENAGERS What?

JAN Youngsters! You’re not real men! I will show you a real man!

JAN undresses  naked in the autumn garden.

TEENAGERS stares.

JAN This is a real man!

TEENAGERS Let’s go back to the pub. He’s mad!

JUKKA You’ll catch a cold, put some clothes on.

JAN What does it matter now?

JUKKA What?

JAN Long man, does my naked body make you hesitant?

JUKKA I know you are interested in him.

JAN Well, let´s say nude makeup wouldn’t make any difference on him.

JUKKA He never shows his face. I couldn’t tell if he is in need of real make up.

JAN I have seen his face and he needs thick layers of it.

LONG MAN Do you think I need make up?

JAN Yes, lots.

JUKKA I think you’re rude to him. He hasn’t done you anything.

LONG MAN I have read about nude makeup. It would suit a man better than real.

JAN Why do you say you’re the only free man? I have met lots of men.

LONG MAN It’s just something I came to think about in the seventies. I met several people in the early seventies who claimed to be free. Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Ravi Shankar.

JAN So?

JUKKA Did you really meet this guys? You must be famous!

JAN  I met Jim Morrison briefly myself.

LONG MAN I had a long conversation with Jim. He was a real nobleman. He charmed me. In the end I had to tell him I didn’t have time to listen to him anymore.

JAN Ha! Ravi Shankar is living. In California!

LONG MAN I met him. I am sorry to say he escaped me.

JAN He escaped you!

LONG MAN He was so charming. I’m not used to men who charm me. He asked me if my life wasn’t empty. I had to say yes. Then he explained about a cosmos I never seen. It was a world filled with warmth. He gave me some brownies and played citar. I decided to let him go.

JAN Ha! Then it’s possible to negotiate with you!

LONG MAN  Yes but most people do it in the wrong way. They just tries to bribe me.

JAN When I last saw Ravi Shankar he was an old man.

LONG MAN I know that and I’m sorry for it.

JUKKA Does he use nude makeup?

JAN I don’t think so. He’s just so cool.

JUKKA I don’t think I am less of “real” man just because I just clear mascara.

JAN I don’t believe you are less because of it either.

LONG MAN Anyway, before I was interrupted, I would love to wait for a long while before visiting him.

JAN Just because you like him?

LONG MAN Yes.

JUKKA If you want any tips on makeup go and ask the bartender. She is the best on makeup!

LONG MAN I like her too. She is cocky.

JAN She’s rooster y.

LONG MAN I don’t like you.

JAN The same.

LONG MAN walks in to the pub.

JUKKA You shiver.

JAN That was a close one.

JUKKA Put your clothes on before you die.

JAN laughs.

JUKKA Who is that man? A famous person?

JAN Perhaps.

JUKKA I have heard that the cook plants marijuana in secret here somewhere.

JAN That’s just what I need now. I need to get high.

JUKKA and JAN digs the garden and roots up most of the vegetables in doing so.

JAN Here!

JUKKA I have found some too.

JAN It’s enough to get high as eagles.

JAN and JUKKA sit on the outside furniture and smokes.

BARTENDER What the fuck did you do to the garden?

JAN laughs.

JUKKA tries to speak.

BARTENDER The cook will kill you for sure.

JUKKA What did the Long man say, love?

BARTENDER A rude son of a bitch. I gave him advice on how to look fresher with nude make up. And guess what he told me?

JAN Yes what.

BARTENDER He told me he would avoid me in the future. I thought he was sexy. That fucking man.

JAN laughs.

JUKKA It’s time to get into the pub again. Before the cook and his dog sees us.

The moon gets up and the BARTENDER takes the cigarette from JAN who laughts at loud.

JUKKA Jan have you ever thought about death?

JAN Death? It’s the only thing I think about. I have done it for twenty nine years.

JUKKA Why? I only think about it seldom, when I am depressed.

JAN When I became forty I began to sense it, crawling.

JUKKA I’m thirty eight, do you think I will see it too ?

JAN Ha ha! It will come for you too. I have seen him many times when I look behind my shoulders.

JUKKA Have you seen him? Does he wear black?

JAN Of course. He has a black cape. I often see him after I have been at the pub.

JUKKA Well, drinking too much can lead to a number of health problems.

JAN He scares me. I played chess with him many times and won so far.

JUKKA I’m sure I saw something about this at TV.

JAN The television only uses an ancient myth witch is true. Life is a game with death.

JUKKA You must be good at chess. I would lose anytime he came to me for a game.

JAN When he comes for one of his little visits we bow before each other and he smile crooked.

JUKKA What would happen if you lose?

JAN What do you think, my oldest of friends?

JUKKA I guess you would die. Have you won every time?

JAN No, I have never won. We play until the cook calls five times. Then he takes his chess and leave.

JUKKA So, Jan, what would happen if you win?

JAN laughs.

JAN No one has won against him yet.

JUKKA Is he good?

JAN Better than you can imagine.

JUKKA Can’t we speak of something else?

JAN I would love too. My only way of holding out is women and high spirits.

JUKKA Let’s talk balls instead of him.

JAN I have read that you get better skin by making love so I make love all the time. I think love is the opposite of the black reaper, the cold man in the velvet coat.

JUKKA You make him sound like a rock star.

JAN Oh, he is.

JAN I think I look like a man who has made love thousands and thousands of times with many hundred women.

JUKKA I’m sorry to say Jan, you look like a man who often is at the pub and has smoked for fifty years.

JAN Do you mean I have lines?

JUKKA Smoking isn’t very good for the skin or drinking.

JAN You have bad skin yourself.

JUKKA Yes, but I use skin products.

JAN I use nude makeup to hide my lines from the world. But I can’t hide from death.

JUKKA Do you mean he come looking for you and want’s to play?

JAN Yes.

JUKKA I also like to play things, but not chess.

JAN Have you ever listened to Incredible string band?

JUKKA I don’t like them, there’re odd.

JAN That’s just because you need intelligence to like them.

JUKKA You fuck my girlfriend then you call me an idiot.

JAN I get better skin by fucking. And it’s good for the brain. It keeps well by new impulses.

JUKKA I think my girlfriend is dirty now when she has your sperm inside her lions.

JAN Not only there.

JUKKA You disgusting old goat man!

JAN I turn on Incredible string band and smoke when the evening comes. Then, when the light is out and moon is full, he comes with his chess game.

JUKKA Are you sure you don’t mean a guy?

JAN No. Where is the bartender? I need some more ale.

JUKKA I told her to go home.

BARTENDER I didn’t, you can’t decide over me.

JAN That’s a good bartender.

BARTENDER Remember, Jan.

JAN Yes, I will make you famous. Come to my house tomorrow.

JUKKA I forbid you.

JAN It’s not 1971.

BARTENDER I can do what the guck I want to. I’ll do anything to be famous.

JAN What’s the price of nude make up from Germany?

JUKKA The Euro is not much nowadays. You’ll get it cheap fur sure.

JAN Of course I will. But I don’ care.

BARTENDER I use real makeup. I messed around with my skin so much in high school.

JAN I hate people and especially service people.

JUKKA Don’t you have any respect for the common working person?

BARTENDER Thanks’ a lot! I am actually a graduate from Yale.

JAN Do you want me to believe that?

JUKKA I’ve seen her diploma.

BARTENDER It’s not easy to get a good job.

JAN goes over to the jukebox and start looking for a song.

JUKKA What the fuck do you think you’re doing fucking that old man?

BARTENDER I’ll do whatever it takes.

JUKKA You don’t deserve me.

BARTENDER No, but you or him doesn’t deserve me. No man deserve me.

JUKKA Are you a lesbian?

BARTENDER Perhaps, I  have not yet met a man who dare to look me in the eyes.

JUKKA takes BARTENDERS head between his hands and look her in the eyes. JAN puts on a record. It’s the “dance of death”.

JAN begins to dance slowly. The teenagers don’t move.

BARTENDER He says I can hold death away for him.

JUKKA It’s just some erotic thing he has for blond men in black capes. Don’t take it seriously.

BARTENDER I love him I think.

JUKKA He don’t care about no one but himself.

A thin long man in a black cape enters. He hides his face in the cape.

LONG MAN Hello.

BARTENDER What can I give you?

LONG MAN Bourbon. I am looking for JAN have you seen him?

JUKKA He is over there dancing.

LONG MAN I will just drink up my glass. I have time.

BARTENDER I dig your clothes! Roll over man.

LONG MAN Thanks. I don’t really understand you youngster’s language.

BARTENDER Can I get you a second glass?

LONG MAN No thanks. I have already wasted too much time here.

LONG MAN gets over to Jan who is dancing.

JUKKA Who the hell was that? He looked like something from the hippie time.

BARTENDER I guess it was an old art friend of Jan.

JUKKA Weird.

JAN So, the time has come for our game?

LONG MAN This is an as good a place to play chess as some other.

LONG MAN takes a chess board from his clothes.

LONG MAN Please open the game Jan.

Jan and Long man plays while Jukka and the Bartender talks.

JUKKA So, you use real make up?

BARTENDER I need it. You have seen me without it.

JUKKA It’s not good for the skin to apply to much. It’s better to use some good anti-aging product.

BARTENDER I’m just twenty nine.

JUKKA I love you!

BARTENDER I don’t know what to say.

JUKKA Just quit that old man.

LONG MAN It doesn’t look good.

JAN There might be a chance.

LONG MAN I have you I think.

JAN I have learned many small tricks of the trade.

LONG MAN Sorry.

JAN What the fuck?

LONG MAN You are checkmate my old friend.

JAN No not that!

The cook calls.

The Long man hurries out. The song “death dance” stops and a fat person put on Iggy Pop instead.

JAN It was close.

JUKKA Who was that?

BARTENDER At your place next week then?

JAN I need to travel somewhere else.

A drama which is set in the British pub W in Uppsala.

Jan: I thought you knew me , Jukka.

Jukka: I knew you allright.

Jan: But why do you ask me these silly questions?

Jukka: I now you have a famous career going as a painter and a musician but why can’t you work in a normal job?

Jan: Why should I? I have acess to as many girls I want as a painter. My students fuck me.

Julkka go to the Jukebox. Puts on  All around the watchtower.

Jukka: This is for you, my friend.

Jan: I danced to this in the seventies.

Jukka: You saw this people in reality. But I don’t see that sprit in you today.

Jan: Please, stop that talking. I am old and gray now.

Jukka: Hey! Can you dig this`?

Jukka jumps up on the table and takes of his shirt.

Bartender: Watch out!

Jukka: All along, lady!

The bartender is a blond girl. Jan gets to the bar.

Jan: Do you want to see a wild cat, lady?

Jukka: I am going to the toilet.

Jan: To bad.

Bartender: Watch your mouth.

Jan: Don’t you know who I am?

Bartender: Everybody says that.

Jan: I’m am Jan the artist.

The bartender looks at him bewildered. She is an American.

Bartender: Really! Are you Jan the artist? I am an artist myself!

Jan: I see you use nude mascara.

Bartender: I’m not so old so I don’t need more than nude makeup.

Jan: It’s clear mascara.

Jukka comes back.

Jukka: They have a settee in the toilet!

Bartender: Hey man! Only the girls resting room has a settee!

Jukka: Ops!

Jan: Do they have a settee in the toilet? That’s very… interesting.

Bartender: The teenagers use it. They all fantasize about doing it in the resting room and this is a service to them.

Jan: Interesting.

Bartender: In the states most pubs have a settee.

Jan is looking at the teenagers.

Jan: So they do it on the toilet?

Bartender: Do you want to see my art?

Jan: I have had lots of art students which I have given a leg up.

Jukka: An old man as you doing it with young art students in exchange for help with their careers. That’s immoral.

Jan: You don’t know how difficult it is to get a leg in the artworld.

Jukka sings to What a drag it is to get old.

Bartender: Do you mean you would help me in exchange for sex?

Jan: Yes in the settee.

Bartender: I don’t want to do it in the settee. It’s disgusting, full of genital liquid.

Jan makes a sound of pleasure.

Jan: That’s not conditional.

Bartender: I think you are disgusting.

Jan: Well, you can rot in this pub.

Jukka: What language you have to the ladies!

Jan: Where?

Jukka: I have bought nude mascara to you Jan, but I am considering to use it myself now.

Jan: Why?

Jukka: You are an over privileged old man who gets everything and you don’t deserve it one bit.

Jan: I am a famous artist.

Jukka: Well, it was fucking easy to get famous in the sixties. All you ever do is making bubbles and signing the painting.

Jan: It’s a trademark.

Jukka: You’re just an old capitalist now days. Once you were a communist and looked good.

Jan: The last twenty years I had nothing to live for but getting amused.

Jukka: There is not much left of the Jan I esteemed.

Bartender: Oh, fuck! Let’s do it in the resting room!

Jan: He he. Yes. But call it toilet!

The bartender and Jan go to the toilet.

Jukka puts on San Francisco nights in the jukebox and dances over the tables together with the teenagers to hide his pain while the old man Jan makes it with the bartender. The sounds from them can be heard despite the music.

Jan and the bartender come out.

Jukka: So you made it with her you bastard.

Jan: Yes!

Jukka: It was my girlfriend you motherfucker!

Bartender: But Jukka you promised to not say that we are together in public.

Jukka hits Jan. The bartender shouts and is frightened she had sex with Jan in vain now. Jan calles for a doctor. All the teenagers dance like in Hair in the small pub.

Scene one ends here.

Well, I have been bad. Fuckk. And all you people out there might have experienced myself. So this will be treat for you too. One tihingi. Fuck. Bloody hell. I’m only consuming. I don’t know why the hell I can afford it. I don’t work much nowdays. I quitted my old job because of difficulties with the others. And I was unemployed but then I got a new job as customer relations.Fuck I hate talking to custoerms but the new job says I am good. I have only work a couple of times and will not start yet so I I only go around eating and drinking. I became so good at custoers relations so I aped after every customer I talked to. They like. My girlfriend says that I am even more personally disturbed now and therettened to quit me when I talked to hear like a customer. And last night I met Jan, an old customer no Blofdddy Heeel! a friend. I drank lots and lots of wine and started asking him why he hates to vbe with other people. Fuck! He told me I have new him for twenty years and that he is an artist and we have discussed thousants of times how he hates working with other people. And there I am asking why he can’t have a normal job like people have. I have been damaged by my new job and I haven’t started yet! It was much easer when I was a telephone sales man in Italy. All my old readers will now that I lived in Italy for quite a while. I lived by the sea but also in Florence. I Toscanay I lived in a hut in Florence with Turks. The Turks and a britt also worked with telephone sales. Bloddy heel! what a job. I didn’t understand any Italian but nowbady else did. The Turks was Illigal I think. I belive the Britt also was illegal. He always talked about heo he jump off the Brittish Church and became a Catloic and how his family hated him. He had lots of Money but decided he wanted to live like a Christian he said. Bloody heel said the Turks and me. On the evening we used to gather round the fire in the Hut and sing Row row row your Boat and the Turks Cried and the Britt creid most. I think it was Fine. However we could’t speak the language but all I had to do was to shout something I have been instructed in Italian like “Buy!” and then they shouted back at me and I sold lots and lots. The other people did the same. Fuckkk. Now I have anxiety because I have drunk so much. I will take myself tighter. I listened to Can’t find my way home often. And I have begin to meditate to find mslef again. All I see is the White house when I meditate. I think I wikill see it when I die like whne people die in movies and the see lots of thingi I will see the white house and the children and the Grass and water.

Fuckckk. Bloody heeell.

A treat for you’re a song if I understand how the fuck you post songs in Worlspressi. My gilrfreind don’t want to have sex with me as long as I sound like a custmers relation to hear. Fuckk. I have been doing something else in frustration. But I should’t spekak about it here if there are Children reading. I will not Drink for a month now or until Christmas. Fuckk. I will eat chicking tonight with or without rhe love of my life. Another thingi. I have watched a hell of many bad movies lately. Hieell. Fuck, Blody Hiieel.

Press on the link for a treat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJJnA6zEcGk