Skrivet av: jukkabysea | november 3, 2011

Scence 1 Jan and me


A drama which is set in the British pub W in Uppsala.

Jan: I thought you knew me , Jukka.

Jukka: I knew you allright.

Jan: But why do you ask me these silly questions?

Jukka: I now you have a famous career going as a painter and a musician but why can’t you work in a normal job?

Jan: Why should I? I have acess to as many girls I want as a painter. My students fuck me.

Julkka go to the Jukebox. Puts on  All around the watchtower.

Jukka: This is for you, my friend.

Jan: I danced to this in the seventies.

Jukka: You saw this people in reality. But I don’t see that sprit in you today.

Jan: Please, stop that talking. I am old and gray now.

Jukka: Hey! Can you dig this`?

Jukka jumps up on the table and takes of his shirt.

Bartender: Watch out!

Jukka: All along, lady!

The bartender is a blond girl. Jan gets to the bar.

Jan: Do you want to see a wild cat, lady?

Jukka: I am going to the toilet.

Jan: To bad.

Bartender: Watch your mouth.

Jan: Don’t you know who I am?

Bartender: Everybody says that.

Jan: I’m am Jan the artist.

The bartender looks at him bewildered. She is an American.

Bartender: Really! Are you Jan the artist? I am an artist myself!

Jan: I see you use nude mascara.

Bartender: I’m not so old so I don’t need more than nude makeup.

Jan: It’s clear mascara.

Jukka comes back.

Jukka: They have a settee in the toilet!

Bartender: Hey man! Only the girls resting room has a settee!

Jukka: Ops!

Jan: Do they have a settee in the toilet? That’s very… interesting.

Bartender: The teenagers use it. They all fantasize about doing it in the resting room and this is a service to them.

Jan: Interesting.

Bartender: In the states most pubs have a settee.

Jan is looking at the teenagers.

Jan: So they do it on the toilet?

Bartender: Do you want to see my art?

Jan: I have had lots of art students which I have given a leg up.

Jukka: An old man as you doing it with young art students in exchange for help with their careers. That’s immoral.

Jan: You don’t know how difficult it is to get a leg in the artworld.

Jukka sings to What a drag it is to get old.

Bartender: Do you mean you would help me in exchange for sex?

Jan: Yes in the settee.

Bartender: I don’t want to do it in the settee. It’s disgusting, full of genital liquid.

Jan makes a sound of pleasure.

Jan: That’s not conditional.

Bartender: I think you are disgusting.

Jan: Well, you can rot in this pub.

Jukka: What language you have to the ladies!

Jan: Where?

Jukka: I have bought nude mascara to you Jan, but I am considering to use it myself now.

Jan: Why?

Jukka: You are an over privileged old man who gets everything and you don’t deserve it one bit.

Jan: I am a famous artist.

Jukka: Well, it was fucking easy to get famous in the sixties. All you ever do is making bubbles and signing the painting.

Jan: It’s a trademark.

Jukka: You’re just an old capitalist now days. Once you were a communist and looked good.

Jan: The last twenty years I had nothing to live for but getting amused.

Jukka: There is not much left of the Jan I esteemed.

Bartender: Oh, fuck! Let’s do it in the resting room!

Jan: He he. Yes. But call it toilet!

The bartender and Jan go to the toilet.

Jukka puts on San Francisco nights in the jukebox and dances over the tables together with the teenagers to hide his pain while the old man Jan makes it with the bartender. The sounds from them can be heard despite the music.

Jan and the bartender come out.

Jukka: So you made it with her you bastard.

Jan: Yes!

Jukka: It was my girlfriend you motherfucker!

Bartender: But Jukka you promised to not say that we are together in public.

Jukka hits Jan. The bartender shouts and is frightened she had sex with Jan in vain now. Jan calles for a doctor. All the teenagers dance like in Hair in the small pub.

Scene one ends here.

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